Sunday Mourning

SUNDAY MOURNING
-ryandgreat, heritage park taguig

it's raining on that sunday morning 5th day of august

and we're on our sixth day at the hospital where my mother is critical and God knows improving condition at the intensive care unit

i've been praying the rosary day in, day out, to ask divine providence for my mother

and also to protect her from all pains and suffering and for us to have strength to carry on and face this burden

it was a roller coaster ride of emotion, we felt relieved at one point and suddenly we're all worried

given all that's happening, we don't know! except that we turn to God for guidance and his will

it was summer of 2005 when we first brought mama to the hospital

because she was complaining of severe headache and feels dizzy,

nothing serious then but after a week we brought her again to the hospital for that same reason

i think it's her first time to be hospitalized since she gave birth to me many years ago

she has to stay there for a thorough observation that lasted for days and after that,

there was no any official statement of the diagnosis until several tests came out that she has this bad condition

she did not pity herself and was not depressed

and as life goes on she was optimistic in the entire ordeal

she has continued her duties and responsibilities to us and as servant in our church

i never once heard her complain about her illness, she accepted that and was brave enough and continue to live as if she's ok

and since then, i'm with her, in all her medical check-ups, and other diagnostic tests to different hospitals

i closely monitored her condition, check her medicines because as the youngest in the family,

that's the least i could do for her and i don't have enough money to contribute or pay for her hospital bills and medicines

she gets hospitalized at the most inconvenient time of my life,

quite few experiences were during the submission of my thesis in college and recently while i'm at work for a news coverage

it was a battle that lasted for seven years, for her and to all of us

i started to pray hard when two years ago,

her doctor told me that the best healing is to pray, and i know that she has already surrendered everything to God

in the months leading to her sudden departure, we spent many dates together, we watched movie, went out for a dinner and attended sunday mass

and then she got hospitalized five times this year

her recovery days at makati medical center was the most memorable to me

that while i'm at work as we cover mang dolphy's health condition at that time, on the same hospital i get to visit and check on my mother from time to time

February 26, 2012 | at McKinley Hills, dinner date last

September 7, 1990 | at Manila Intercontinental Hotel

July 6, 2012 | at Makati Medical Center 

and we thought that she's going to get better, but after a week we brought her again to another hospital, at san juan de dios on the first week of august

and her condition has worsen and she's admitted to the icu, it was the most painful and stressful and traumatic experience for us

i came to a point where i am willing to give up everything for her and quit my job because i wanted to take care of her and spend more quality time with her

but her last words to me, she said that i should not quit my job in tv5

and i do not know what it means on this very moment that there so much backlash at work

and on that sunday morning, the Lord has taken our mother, and gave her eternal comfort

we're bedside her when she took her last breathe as we tried to comfort her until her last moment and then we entrust her soul to our creator

we'd like to say thank you to a lot of people and closest relatives and prens who were there and comforted us during our trying times

we truly appreciate that you all came to pay your last respect for our mother, braving the heavy rains due to habagat!

thank you for your time, the hugs and the beautiful flowers that you gave and most importantly for the prayers to our dearest mother

from the bottom of my heart maraming, maraming salamat po

but it's what comes after libing, i think is the most difficult to bear because of her memories live with us

August 12, 2012 | first visit to Mama 

this one is very personal, but ill put it here anyway, 

just like any mother, she is caring, responsible, unselfish and the list goes on

she gave up her whole life and sacrificed her youth for us (she had her first child when she was only..)

and did not put herself first and she raised us so well

and gave us the most comfort of life even if its beyond her capacity

and she has protected our welfare

and most importantly she made sure that we have all the things that we need not only the material possessions

but also the knowledge, courage, being responsible and being faithful to God

she's the ultimate full time mother who's there for us in all our success and trials

and she has achieved her mission in life, now that all of us in a way succeed in our own endeavors

thank you Lord that she's our mother and for all the strength in this entire ordeal

and what we've gone through in last couple days in the hospital has prepared me enough to accept God's will for her

Mama, i will miss you, you will forever remain in my heart! i love you so much! please always look on us as our guardian angel